Let the magical feeling surround you...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

This time, I do not have to make a choice. You pointed a dagger to my back and sent me out to be exiled. I’ve been, partially liberated. I am now away from you. Yet my dignity has suffered. What I want to shout out is “You made me assume this post, and caused me to lose something else which I ought to have gotten. I paid a dear price for it all because of your senseless ruling.” I shall, one day, avenge for myself. Warrior, this is only the beginning; the best, is yet to be.
To the people reading, I feel that my recent posts sounds very self-indulging. Well, I need to avoid being tangled in more fights. Hence the result.
Went to Ajisen for lunch today with my JJ Nexus Corporate Committee. I managed to finish my bowl of noodles! Whoo hoo! What an accomplishment! *gives myself a pat on the back* Was suppose to go out with Cousin Huiqi today. But hell, my mum didn’t allow me. Though she gave in before I went for meeting, I didn’t have the mood to go out to enjoy myself. So sorry Cousin! *Hugs* God, I have to buy and complete the cross stitch for Wanling! Her birthday is coming!! Argh! Shouldn’t have promised her. xp Oops. To Hong Yang, your present is rotting in my bag soon! =0 To Peifang, I have so many things to tell you, but I don’t dare to call you. Haha. With that entire power struggle, it’s a wonder how you stayed on for such a long time.

it's 10:56 PM now

Monday, June 22, 2009

Despicable

I’m damned. I thought I could resign gloriously. But hell, no. It is indeed a really dark place to be. This is a place, where to the outside world, accumulated filth is akin to snow, the smell of spring is the unforgiving stench that will always remain, and those blood sucking bugs appear to be little innocent flora. Beautiful isn’t it? How mighty of you to claim that, a decade ago, you could persuade the people to take part in the activities, whereas now, teens these days won’t listen; how would you know if you don’t bother to try? When you even tell them that they have a choice as to whether they want to attend the activity or not; “You want to come, you come, don’t want to come, its ok. I won’t force people.” When this sentence comes out of your mouth, it just gives the mentality to people that ‘Yeah, I just don’t have to go.’ At the end of the day. Who suffers? The exco. The exco will never be loyal to you. Why? To the fact that you’ve just bestowed me 2 cups of poisoned wine. No way out at all. The replacement of exco with a snap of your fingers just creates a greater rift between the exco and the members. You just don’t treasure the top brass. Shortly after the knowledge of an irresponsible lower rank exco, you made her resign from her post. Then, you tell me about it. The way you wanted to make me see, is that yeah, see, she doesn’t do her job, she’s off. But, in my opinion, it just tells me that you are merely silencing the lower officials to shut the top brass. What a despicable act. If I resign like that, it means that I just ain’t capable enough to stay in this war. And you can proudly hold my detached head and ask the rest “who’s next?” But if I do, I’ll be liberated. Liberation or dignity? It’s a hard choice.

it's 12:56 PM now

Hong Yang: Man.. Get well soon and mug!! Haa.. Apologies to scaring you. But hey, its serious ok!

Cousin Huiqi: Baby, we rule! Yeah! Hope that we can chat like that again. After my promos I guess. Haha! *Behold the arched ones who shall bestow the drop of unspeakables to whom crosses its path!* Sometimes I think that I should be a lit student. Haha!

Zhuqing and Peifang: Realisation dawned on me just last Friday that both of you were from Nanhua high and were from choir. Which ultimately leads to both of you knowing each other. xp I miss you both! XDD

it's 12:50 PM now

Friday, June 19, 2009

Realisation

I guess, there is no point in me staying where my heart does not belong. I will resign tomorrow. I'd like to express my thanks to the following people: Rachel, Zhuqing, Hong Yang, Cousin Huiqi and Denise. Yeah people. Thanks for showing me the light. All of us share different perspective, yet similarities still do surface. I've just have had time to think through. And I guess, this is probably the one solution. Yeah, no point hanging on to where my heart does not stay. It is time for me to realise that exco is not everything. People don't die because they are not in exco. I'm tired of fighting to hang on to something that ain't worth my time. So here I am. I want to announce to the whole world that I am finally free. But warrior, the battle, has barely started...

it's 7:13 PM now

Outrageous

This is outrageous. You forced me to join this CCA; I didn’t have a choice. You wanted me to assume this post; I never had the intention to. You promised me the post; yet it wasn’t given to me until I enquired. You told me that there would be no clashes with other activities; but eventually, there are many. You told me not to have an exco post in other CCAs; fine, I didn’t. You said that it is all right to not attend everything; I made use of this privilege at times. Now that I have carried out my duties, you want me out. Just because a mere member lodged a complaint against me for not being able to attend this retreat? Indeed, there are some events where I was absent. Such as the Youth Partner Briefing on 29April; I had SYF practice at Victoria Concert Hall. It is obvious which one I should go. EP course; I attended the last module of the day due to CSL investiture emceeing. My mistake to not have realized that the dates clashed. Yesterday, the prep for youth retreat; my mum had to attend to a funeral, leaving me to take care of my grandmother with Alzheimer’s disease. Filial piety, most respectfully, is not a crime. Today, the youth retreat. It is my regret to not be able to attend. However, I attended the morning session. I had to study for my DUA exam that is tomorrow. There’s no route for failure this time. Only success. This is my safety net for my ‘A’ levels; a net which I must weave meticulously.

it's 2:27 PM now

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

What that does not kill me makes me stronger.

Wow, its been more than a week since I last posted.
Say, I am feeling really frustrated and very helpless now. Am I feeling hapless as well? Yes. Why so? Accumulation of undone homework, unrevised work, as well as CCA. They seem to be forming a cyclone and charging at me all at once. Specifically, now. Worse, my POA exam is on this Saturday. Aiming to get distinction but I have absolutely no idea about the odds of achieving it. Well, some hardcore revising will do the trick.
CCA: Like what I've discussed with some others, indeed, it is time for me to drop some and focus more on my academic aspect. Loads of thanks to Hong Yang who made me see the light and kind of made me force myself to stop procrastinating and start putting some activities to a stop. Take JJ Nexus as an example. I should be dropping it at the end of the year after prom. Yea. Informed one of the alumni, Meiling and I've just sent an email to the president. CDC. Super pissed off with the members for not replying to the VPs who are now accountable to me. I strongly believe that my VPs are capable of disseminating the info, and the members who are fully capable of reading. but they just don't want to reply! Good grief. Worse. I'm accountable to Can^5 tomorrow. If he don't get an answer, I'll be that idiot who gets the blame. Fun? Sure. Guranteed. Made a decision as to whether I'll stay in choir or shooting. I mean, I'll wait for the musical thing to be settled. Then I'll make my final choice. Because frankly, its a tough decision to make. Despite the fact that Hong Yang was telling me to stay in CDC and choir. Me and my shooting dream. Someday, I think I'm going to shoot myself to death and regret the second I pull the trigger.
My study table, the single sofa and the bed is in a total mess. Worksheets here and there with my Secondary 4 stuff on the bed. I marvel at how I manage to sleep on a bed with my worksheets. Kind of getting used to sleeping half of a super single bed. Not bad. Lol. Damn it. I couldn't find my Microsoft Office 25 word product code. Super angry with myself for losing it. But thankfully, I can borrow from my mum's friend again. Still frustrated with myself for being so messy.
Woah, feel so much better after ranting. Thanks for the suggestion Denise! Haaa... To Cousin Huiqi, I think I really got to find a bomb shelter. XD

it's 10:03 PM now

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Mistaken

Well, so the fiasco has come to a close. Why a fiasco? Simply because it was a mistake in the first place to have said that. I'd rather you left it like it is; could have spared both of us awkward moments. But in any case, what matters the most is that we were friends, and we are still friends. And I'd like to emphasise on the point that there had been no feelings from me in the first place; vice-versa. Last night, I took my time to choose the subtlest of words to tell you so. It is my regret then, if I caused you embarrassment for your misjudgement this time round. Interesting to know that you were mitigating the pain that was never present. What I really hope is that this doesn't create a barrier between us. Yeah man? So buddy, tell me watcha want for your bday; I'm runnin outta brain jus alr. XD

it's 7:14 PM now

Thursday, June 4, 2009

PW and Pepper Lunch

Today! Had ACC meeting. I’m in the corporate committee. There may be changes, but hell. Went to the JE library to ask people to do the survey for our PW. Had a break at the cafe before doing work. XD I think I forget to bring my guts out today; I didn’t dare to approach strangers to do the survey. Or maybe I have an issue with the topic we are dealing with? Sorry, and thank you Denise for getting the people to do the survey. =) Denise, Xinru, Sammini and I went to IMM for lunch. And we had pepper lunch! Yes, it’s my first time. xp The food was not bad. But the minus point was the amount of lipids that was present. *lets out a slow whistle.* I'm starting to feel a bit more horizontal now. Damn.

Yes, this was the break I mentioned. Chocolate truffle! =D That's Denise's drink.

Pepper chicken lunch.

The guilt. =(

When the night falls... No, I'm not a vampire. Lols. Just been thinking that I'm quite warped. Why do I fall for a guy who won't fall for me and I just keep pining for him till it hurts? Song in my mind now? "I Hate This Part" - Pussycat Dolls. Guess that's all for today.

Labels: Denise, Sammini, Xinru

it's 10:56 PM now

The MASSACRE OF THE MANGOES

A continuation of the previous post. Damn, I'm so naggy.

This was what Denise ate. Some sausage thing.

Ha! This is mine. Some spicy chilli chicken thing.

Negative feedback from taking chilli. Not that I can't take chilli. But I don't really like it. Hence the 'dandruff' all over the baked rice.

Yesterday. Loves Sok Teng. XD This darling came to school to hand in her math; only to be dragged by me to join the choir practice and stay with me in school til 7pm for me to complete my math. Babe, I hope you enjoyed the 2nd choir experience. =) We witnessed a horrifying scene today – THE MASSACRE OF THE MANGOES. Indeed. It’s the mango season and our school had a mango rain, and voila! We had a mango smashing delight by the teachers; their cars ran over those innocent mangoes. =(

The mango that made its descent quite recently.

The mango that didn't survive the massacre.

Labels: Denise, Sok Teng

it's 10:43 PM now

My first post!!

It’s just so hard to please everyone. For Denise and Xinru, here’s me at blogger for you. =D Yay, my first post! Actually, I’m more familiar with blogger than livejournal. xp Oh well, say, let’s date back to Monday.

It was my first time seeing someone feeling so guilty over eating an upsize McSpicy EVM. It was, indeed, a pleasure to see him feeling mentally tortured while eating. Here’s to you, Hong Yang. *posing a toast* By the way, I’m not a sadist. XD

Tuesday. Had bio and chem. tutorial. So glad that it’s over. After which, Denise and I accompanied Yu Xuan to meet her mum at JP. Good job Yu Xuan, for abandoning Denise and I. That’s ok, the both of us went to Pizza Hut for our lunch. An interesting experience. (Pictures will be posted.) And Denise is in my bad debt again. =D